


Omega Matchmaking House

by tntfriday13



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: A non-prejudice omegaverse, Alpha Rolf, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Beta Eddy, Ed Edd n Eddy are bffs, Ed is cool with it, Everyone is pretty mellow and happy, M/M, Mentioned Alpha Kevin, Omega Ed, Omega Edd, Omega Verse, Sniffing out one's mate is considered caveman-esc, sniffing, so is Rolf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 09:18:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8885344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tntfriday13/pseuds/tntfriday13
Summary: In a world where Alphas and Omegas are not required to be together, but generally still seek each other out. There are ‘homes’ which provide great housing, food, amenities, and matchmakers for unmarried omegas. Matchmakers obtain profiles from omegas (which includes information such as interests, disinterests, hobbies, etc) and alphas alike and, using their psychology and sociology degrees to their fullest potential, create dates matches and set up dates between the alpha and omega. Homes are often praised for their skilled matchmakers and satisfied residents. However, some matchmakers are crap at their jobs, and force either the alpha or omega to take fate into their own hands. This is what happens to one particular son of a shepherd. He will not stand for such poppycock!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Just wanted to give you all a heads-up that this is my first story on AO3, so please forgive me if I haven't quite figured out all the ins and outs yet (ie. line breaks). I just wanted to share a little story I wrote about a pairing I'm pretty fond of that doesn't have nearly as much recognition as is required for my fanfic-addicted brain. Here's to all of you out there in a similar position to me!

Omega Matchmaking House had a visiting room that was to die for. It had walls practically lined with flat screen TVs, a few video games, some board games, a bunch of magazines, bookcases filled to the brim with all kinds of popular fiction, and not to mention comfy chairs, sofas, and tables. Ed currently found himself sitting at one of the oh-so comfy tables as he waited for his two best friends in the world to show up for a visit. It was nice staying in the House; rent was cheap, amenities were awesome, food was fantastic, and the matchmakers/psychiatrists did their best to match up each omega with their perfect alpha. However, Ed always enjoyed the House more when his friends were there. The tall resident of OMH loudly sipped soda as he watched the latest episode of Camren, Camron, and Cammy play out on the big flat screen in front of him.

“Hey, lug-head!”

Suddenly the familiar yell of one of his best friends pierced the peaceful atmosphere of the room. Staff members frowned and nearby omegas rolled their eyes but no one said anything in response to the annoyance. They were all pretty much used to it by now.

Ed smiled wide and pulled himself way from the TV screen in order to properly greet his friends with his own, loud, and excited, “Hey, guys!” 

The taller of the two approaching friends smiled and, with a voice as polite as ever, replied, “Why greetings to you too, Ed.” The smartest Ed-boy pulled out a chair from the table, being sure to make as little noise as possible as it scrapped against the pristine wooden floor, and sat himself gracefully down across from Ed. Eddy, the shorter of the bunch, noisily pulled out his chair and plopped down into it with as much grace as a lumbering ox in an art museum.

“When the heck are you gonna get out of here, mono-brow?” Eddy complained. “I’m sick of sock-head here waking me up before noon every week.” 

Double-Dee nudged the other hard with his elbow, eliciting an “Ow, what was that for!?” In response. 

Ed smiled and shook his head, “Not until I find the mate that’s right for me, Eddy!”

Eddy groaned, “Why are you wasting your time with this place anyway? They haven’t been able to find you a suitable alpha in two years! Obviously they don’t know what they’re doing.”

“I figure that I’ll have better luck if I stay here than if I go waiting willy-nilly out there,” Ed replied with stars in his eyes. “Someday my alpha will come and he and I will share our love of buttered toast and gravy as we ride off into the sunset on the backs of a horde of chickens.” Ed grinned, “And besides, this is where Double-Dee found his perfect mate!”

Double-Dee blushed, while Eddy scoffed, “Ed, if you get a mate like Sock-head’s, we’re gonna have a problem. I don’t think I can put up with _two_ Kevins.”

“Kevin isn’t that bad, Eddy,” Double-Dee defensively stated.

“He isn’t that bad to _you_ maybe. He’s a pain in my—“

“—ANYWAY,” Double-Dee interrupted, “Do you have any more meetings scheduled for this week, Ed?”

The taller shook his head, “Not that I know of. You know how it is with most alphas: they take one look at me and run for the hills.”

Double-Dee and Eddy wilted a bit at the news. But then Eddy broke the pity-party with a coy smile and a nudge, “Well then, why don’t you come with us to the new club that’s going to open up downtown on Saturday? You’re sure to meet some alphas there!”

“Eddy,” Double-Dee scolded, “I told you that I wasn’t going to that seedy establishment!”

“Oh, come on! It’s not like you have to pick anyone up at a club, doing that just makes it more fun! And besides, it’s my grand opening!”

“Ugh, Fine. I had honestly hoped you would do something a bit more productive with your business degree rather than opening a nightclub, but I suppose it could be a fine establishment given the proper clientele and work. I’ll talk have to talk to Kevin about it though to see if he wants to come with me.”

“Great,” Eddy sarcastically replied. “He can be the big kill-joy that makes my profits go down.” The shorter man’s grimace turned back into a smirk as he looked back at the tallest one at the table, “So, what about it, Ed? Want to be there for the grand unveiling of my newest money maker?”

“Sure thing, Eddy!” Ed happily replied. “I can lift everyone that comes in for you to make sure that we have as much fun as possible while we shake our groove-things to the beat of the maracas.”

“…Please don’t pick up any of my customers, Ed.”

“Sure thing, Eddy!”

Eddy rolled his eyes, “Good. It will do you both good to get out for once.”

Double-Dee crossed his arms defensively, “Well you know I’ve been too busy to actually go out, Eddy.”

Ed grinned and looked over to Double-Dee with leer, “Oh do tell! Is Double-Dee making a Double-Three yet? Am I going to be an uncle or an aunt?!”

Double-Dee blushed at the insinuation, “Not like that, Ed!” The smarter member glared at the shorter member of their group who chuckled into his hand. “Have you been visiting him without me?” Double-Dee accused.

Before Eddy could reply, Ed cut him off, “Oh yeah, Double-Dee. Eddy sometimes takes a taxi to come visit me on days when he says that you and Kevin get too lovey-dovey for him to come over. We get to play board games and watch TV!”

“Eddy,” Double-Dee stated disapprovingly.

The other raised his hands in self-defense, “What, are you going to scold me for visiting my dear friend Ed?”

Double-Dee pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, “No of course not.” He looked at Ed with dead seriousness in his eyes, “Anyway, Ed, back to your question: No, there’s no baby coming.”

“Aw! But Double-Dee when are you going to give me grandchildren!?” Ed whined.

“For goodness sakes! I can’t give you grandchildren if you’re not my father, Ed. I can only make you an uncle, or rather a god-uncle since we’re not related, but even then having children now would hinder my scientific research. Most of the chemicals I work with are not safe to work with in a state of pregnancy.”

Ed’s lower lip quivered with sadness, but Double-Dee gave him an understanding smile, “Don’t worry, Ed. Maybe one day Kevin and I will be ready to have children and, who knows? Maybe even before that, you will find yourself a mate who is all too willing to have children right away.”

“You really think so, Double-Dee?”

“I know so, Ed. You just haven’t found the right one for you yet.”

Eddy smiled too. The talk about mates was still a sensitive topic with their tallest friend since he had no luck with the match-making industry as of yet, but even Eddy knew that he had to keep their hopes up, “Yeah, lumpy. Some Casanova is gonna walk through that door one day and sweep you off your feet!”

“Well I hardly doubt he would walk through the door given the home’s strict policy regarding visitors, but in the appropriate setting, yes, that could very well happen.”

They chatted for a few hours afterward. They played some of Ed’s video games and watched TV together while munching on popcorn. It was like the old days when they were all still children and had the rest of their lives ahead of them. It wasn’t too often that all 3 of them managed to get together anymore. Double-Dee had his research and married life to keep him busy; Eddy had his studies for his business degree and, more recently, his actual business opening; while Ed, dear, sweet Ed, he had his life at the Omega Matchmaking Home where he lived with other hopeful omegas. Ed’s life primarily consisted of matchmaking interviews where matchmakers would create his profile to seek out the perfect mate, activities with other omegas, and the creation of his comic book series. Ed was a fairly-popular comic artist and writer with his own line of popular comic series. He was proud of his work and often met with his fans at conventions and signings but, even then, alphas who came to meet him had their romantic intentions hastily cut-short once they realized that the writer/artist of their favorite comic books was a strong, only semi-competent, psycho. They were still nice and considerate, but Ed could always tell when his fans were slightly disappointed with what they saw. 

Eddy and Double-Dee left the home sometime before dark. They said their goodbyes and made plans to meet again in a few days. It worked out well for Ed, he had to get the new issue of “Mutant Chickens from Underground” ready for publishing by the end of the week anyway. 

Ed grabbed the storyboard for his comic and headed out. Tonight was Taco Thursday so he figured that he could grab something to eat while browsing over his latest issue for errors. He may not be the brightest tool in the garage, but Ed knew his stuff when it came to the written word and art style. His writing was flawless even though the subject of his writing was more or less not taken as seriously. It was something he had been praised for by many critics.

And even though Ed felt insecure about his romantic future, he had great friends and was proud of his work. 

\---

The junior vice assistant matchmaker of OMH let out a noise of surprise as the door to her office slammed open with a loud bang. She jumped, causing the papers in her hands to fly up into the air and make a mess of her once nice clean floor.

“Rolf demands to see the owner of this establishment at once!”

The matchmaker, Jane, adjusted her glasses and gave the man in front of her an annoyed look, “She’s, like, out now,” she replied with clear annoyance. “Its past her appointment hours, so if you want to meet her, you’re going to have to make an appointment for some other day.”

 _“You!”_ The man pointed at her, “ _You_ are the one in charge of Rolf’s problems with romance!”

“M- _Me_?” 

It was then that Jane got a better look at the man in front of her. He was tall, dark, and handsome with oddly-colored blue hair with matching blue stubble lining his jaw. Even though he wore a loose-fitting shirt, she could tell from his muscular arms that he was most-likely packing a **nice** set of abs. 

He was **gorgeous**. That’s probably why she had initially accepted him as her client. What she hadn’t expected, however, was that he was absolutely _insane_.

“O-oh, yeah. I remember you now. How was your date with Jimmy?”

Rolf glared at her while at the same time giving her a cruel smile, “Oh? You want to know how Rolf’s romantic date with the perfect mate went, yes?”

The girl nodded nervously.

“As good as the other dates you have set up for Rolf with crybabies!” He exclaimed in anger. “Rolf comes here to find the perfect mate so he can make his parents proud and settle down with someone who will make him happy, and yet it appears as though you have only been giving this son of a shepherd omegas who have not grown out past wearing diapers!”

“I’m sorry you feel this way. Would you like to fill out the specificities of what you’re looking for in a mate? We can—“

“Rolf has filled out your forms a million times yet it appears that you have just been using them for kindling your fireplace! Rolf is done using your services!”

 _Good_ , Jane thought to herself. This guy was really bumming her out. It would be nice to not have to deal with—

An audible inhale through the nose made Jane put her hands to her face in horror, “What are you doing?!” She exclaimed in sheer panic. 

Rolf held up his hand, “Rolf has no more time for your nonsense! He will find his mate himself!”

The tall man left Jane’s office and began his nose-first stride through the ‘Staff Only’ door. 

“Oh my god! Sir, you can’t go in there!”

Another audible sniff, “ _Watch_ me!”

This was the door that led to the Omega Housing Complex. Hundreds of omegas lived past this door, walking around, enjoying their temporary home at OMH. There was no telling how they would react to an unmarried alpha roaming the halls of their supposed-to-be safe housing!

And, indeed, as soon as Rolf was spotted/smelled by a few passing omegas, a minor chunk of hell broke loose. Some omegas ran and screamed in terror, while others pretty much just shrugged and went back to their business. It wasn’t really all that bad, but still, there was a _strange_ **unmarried** _**alpha**_ sniffing around an omega house. _Sniffing_! Jane put her hands to her face in complete dismay at the lack of decency. This man was a complete **barbarian** ! 

“Sir, please! This is _so_ inappropriate!”

“Nonsense! Before all this matchmaking mumbo jumbo, mates would find each other exclusively with their noses. If my mate is here, I will find them!”

Jane trotted along after the tall man helplessly. She was too weak to physically stop him from roaming around the complex, and he _technically_ wasn’t doing anything illegal per-se. Sure, her bosses would probably want her to call the police but she really didn’t want to be known as the girl who got the police called in on her first night alone, so she kept herself away from dialing the number on her cellphone. 

Rolf suddenly stopped in his tracks, much to Jane’s surprise as she bumped into him. 

“Oh-ho-ho, so you _do_ actually have Rolf’s mate in this cry-baby factory! Rolf is on your trail, destined one!”

And just like that he was back to his stride through the complex. He was faster though. He was a man on a mission and would not be stopped. He strode past lots of omegas along his trail, not even pausing to see if they were attractive or not. He must have been relying solely on his sense of smell…

Jane noticed where they were headed. Though she had only been there a few times to pick up snacks for her and the other employees, she recognized this hall.

It led straight to the cafeteria. 

\---

“He must be hungry,” is what most of the omegas in the OMH cafeteria thought as they watched long-time resident Ed read his comic manuscript while shoving two-tacos at a time into his mouth. 

Ed was probably the nicest omega in the complex, but everyone knew that he was strange. That’s why when Ed came to the cafeteria to eat, he usually ate alone. 

It was just another night at OMH. It was quiet and peaceful. The hopeful omegas spoke quietly to one another about how their day went and what they were going to do tomorrow.  
No one tried to speak with Ed. They were kind to him--well, _most_ of them were (there’s always the occasional asshole), but they knew better than to interrupt the master writer/artist when he was working. 

Everyone jumped when the man let out a triumphant “Ah!” over his script.

Oh this month’s issue was probably going to be a good one. 

_**BAM!** _

Everyone practically jumped out of their skin when the cafeteria doors slammed opened. Even more omegas screamed when they saw the tall, dark, and handsome alpha stumble in with his nose in the air. 

“Oh, uh, hi, everybody,” Jane nervously greeted. She gestured to the alpha as he _continued_ to **freaking** _sniff_ the air, “He’s just here for the tacos. He, uh, smelled them and he just had to come get some!”

Rolf was headed further into the room, away from the tacos much to Jane’s displeasure. He was headed toward the…back?

His eyes were closed and his nose lowered the farther he walked. Jane practically fainted when Rolf’s nose actually touched the back of one of the omega’s in the room. She could only imagine the money that omega would make once they sued the OMH for every scent they were worth for the emotional trauma and therapy. 

Rolf’s hands snuck up to hug around the waist of this omega, his eyes slowly—dreamily—opened, and a silly smile stretched across his face. “So you are the one destined for Rolf.”

The omega’s scribbling and taco-eating ceased as he felt hands touch his abdomen. “Oh-ho-ho, you’re a handsy one!” Ed laughed. His own taco-greasy hands came down to rest on the ones covering his stomach. “And who do we have here?”

Rolf laughed, his hands grabbed each other and he lifted his mate from the table to turn him around.

“You’re strong!” Ed laughed some more. He was placed gently back on the chair, only this time, facing the other man. Ed was surprised to see someone so… not-one-of-his-friends in front of him. His nose twitched at the smell of pine trees and… was that…

“Gravy!” 

The alpha laughed, “I smell of gravy to you do I? Well, that will go well with the animal flesh I smell coming off of you!”

Ed grinned, “Are you my alpha?”

“Yes!”

The Ed’s smile, if possible, grew even more at the news. His arms came to wrap around Rolf in a typical bone-crushing hug. He was so excited that he stood up from the table and lifted his alpha as he continued to squeeze the air out from the other’s lungs.

“Yes," Rolf croaked out as his body was squeezed to its limits, "you are _definitely_ Rolf’s omega!” The tall, dark, handsome alpha was eventually let go, and he reached out to grab his mate’s hand in victory, “We shall leave this place and be married at once! How many children do you wish to have?”

Ed excitedly jumped up and down, “A million!”

“Then we shall get started right away! After we are married, that is. Oh… ah, what is your name?”

“Ed!”

“Ed! Wonderful! My name is Rolf, and I am the son of a shepherd. I have much land to provide for you and plenty of livestock.”

“Are there chickens?”

“Yes, lots of chickens!”

“Yay!”

And it was then that long-time resident Ed managed to find his mate. In some strange way, the Omega Matchmaking Home actually _did_ help Ed to find his mate, just like he said they would. That very night, Ed packed his things from the house, waved goodbye to the other housemates and long-suffering staff members, and headed through the doors with his alpha in hand. He and Rolf had a long way ahead of their relationship. They dated, they laughed, they shared stories, they—terrifyingly enough—met each other’s family and friends, and, after enough time had passed that they were confident in their relationship and ready to take the next step forward, they married. 

The marriage ceremony was carried out on a beautiful hillside in the country. Rolf’s family had brought a feast larger than Ed had ever seen before, and they danced nearly the entire time. Chickens roamed throughout the reception, much to Ed’s delight and Double-Dee's dismay, while cows, goats, pigs and other such livestock watched from the outskirts. It was everything that Ed had ever wanted and more.  
And they lived happily ever after!


End file.
